Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
13.06.2025 03:35
It’s still here.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
Trump Media Raises $2.32B—Bitcoin Treasury and Big Moves Ahead - Bitcoin.com News
And the sadness?
Be who you already are.
I was tired of fighting.
Russia bombards Ukraine with 479 drones overnight, Ukrainian air force says - ABC News
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
Horoscope for Saturday, June 07, 2025 - Chicago Sun-Times
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
I was tired of trying and failing.
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.
I had run out of hope.
5 foods to consume empty stomach to stabilize blood sugar levels naturally - Times of India
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
What are the pros and cons of arranged marriages?
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
Holocaust survivor who was burned in Boulder: 'We are better than this' - NBC News
The sadness was still there.
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
It’s here now, writing to you.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
Cisco Powers Secure Infrastructure for the AI Era - Cisco Newsroom
You are like me, then.
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.